Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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