I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
