'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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