She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
