clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
