You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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