i may or may not be watching the land before time
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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