WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
