I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize