with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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