i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
