North Korea, Best Korea!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
and you fell through a lawn chair
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
