Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
