Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
