Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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