so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
