I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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