ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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