hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Blood and glitter go together right?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
