you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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