The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
