my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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