THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
my poor anus
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize