I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
