i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
