I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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