wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
