I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
