I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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