I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize