Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Are we still banned from the library?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
