HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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