just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
