I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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