Little spoons don't ask big questions
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize