it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
