Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
