he wants to bone in the snuggie
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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