1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just had sex on a roof
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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