3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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