You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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