So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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