redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
