I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
