No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Bring me that man meat
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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