i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
