Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
