So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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