Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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