this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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