you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
