So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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