Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
