Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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