This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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