I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
