Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
please don't ironically join a cult
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